Using someone’s pronouns correctly is a simple way to show respect. When mistakes happen, the most helpful response is usually brief: correct yourself, apologize if needed, and keep going.
Why Pronouns Matter
Pronouns are part of how we refer to one another in everyday conversation. For many people, especially trans, non-binary, Two-Spirit, and gender-diverse people, being referred to with the right pronouns can contribute to a greater sense of recognition, belonging, and inclusion.
Respectful pronoun use also helps set expectations for how people are treated in workplaces, schools, community groups, families, and social spaces.
What If You Make a Mistake?
People make mistakes, especially when learning something new or adjusting to a change. The goal is not perfection; it is respectful effort.
A simple response is often enough:
- Correct yourself.
- Offer a brief apology if appropriate.
- Use the correct pronoun and continue the conversation.
For example: “She—sorry, they—will be joining us later.”
Long explanations or repeated apologies can unintentionally put the other person in the position of reassuring you. A quick correction keeps the focus where it belongs.
What If Someone Else Uses the Wrong Pronoun?
If it is appropriate and safe to do so, a brief correction can help. For example: “Jordan uses they/them pronouns.” Then continue the conversation normally.
Consider the context before correcting someone publicly. Not everyone is open about their pronouns or gender in every setting, and disclosing personal information without permission can create discomfort or risk.
How to Get Better at New Pronouns
If you are having difficulty adjusting, practice away from the person. Use their name and pronouns in sentences, correct yourself mentally when you slip, and give yourself time to build the habit.
The effort should happen on your side rather than asking the person to repeatedly remind or teach you.
Respect Goes Beyond Pronouns
Pronouns are one part of creating inclusive spaces. Respect also includes using the name someone asks you to use, protecting privacy, addressing harassment, and creating policies and practices that support people consistently.
Continue the Series
Start with What Are Pronouns?, then explore practical everyday pronoun use and inclusive organizational practices.
You can also explore DAO education and workshops.
This article is part of DAO’s gender-equality education series, originally supported through community funding partnerships.
